27 Friday Sep 2019
Posted in poetry
When will it end?
When is the last chapter written?
When will both knees I bend?
When will I lose what’s given
When would the voices stop?
When would these visions cease
When will the morning drop?
When will the nightmares ease?
When will all monsters sleep?
When will wise words I’ll heed?
When will good deeds I reap?
When will this soul is freed?
Regardless how, or when and where
I know one day, that I will be there.
©FAT 2019
17 Monday Oct 2016
Tags
affliction, depression, faith, God, life, philosophy, poem, poetry, writing
Dear Lord the vision is seen
Affliction is due
And I am as I have always been
Believing you will see me through
Your fate cannot be rejected
And soon your subject will fall ill
Your judgment I have accepted
As I have and always will
I can’t comprehend the reasons
Your wisdom sometimes I can’t see
And this sad change of seasons
Won’t sway my faith in thee
And if it’s to be cleansed in thine earth
Then Blessed I am with this birth
©FAT 2016
16 Thursday Jun 2016
Posted in poetry
Tags
abuse, addiction, depression, despair, Loneliness, love, poem, poetry, thought of the day
The enemy you see in me;
Will never falter or surrender;
And unless you set me free;
For a life time I’ll linger;
I will plot I will conspire;
Until I take it all;
I’ll live with only one desire;
To take back my soul;
I allowed you to be my reality;
I became the voice of doubt;
Now I am on the edge of insanity;
Broken and trapped without;
My plot began;
And soon you shall resign;
Enjoy it while you can;
Enjoy this vessel of mine;
Poison me with fear, drugs or liquor;
Do as you wish and will;
Lay cuts on my arms or do whatever;
You will never break my will;
Cast my beloveds afar;
Scar my face with tears;
Those who’ll know who you are;
Will help me conquer my fears;
With time I’ll emerge victorious;
With time this vessel will heal;
And on a day so divine and glorious;
My heart will start to feel;
And if death one day call;
Before I reinstate my soul;
In laughter I will turn and roll;
And I’ll smile as I watch you fall;
Poison me with fear, drugs or liquor;
Do as you wish and will;
Lay cuts on my arms or do whatever;
You will never break my will.
©FAT 2016
12 Friday Feb 2016
Tags
depression, despair, fate, Loneliness, pain, poem, poetry, thought of the day, time
Well played my greatest teacher
Well played dear time
What was once a fearless creature
Rolls now in pain and grime
Knowing it’s a lost battle and cause
He still trusted fate
And against all his scars and laws
He willingly bit time’s bait
Thought time came to heal and mend
Thought this promise was an exception
Said goodbye to his only friends
Loneliness, pride and affliction
They smiled and helped him pack
They knew time’s game
They knew he would be back
A mockery in shame
He left one man’s land
With treacherous wraiths
Through dunes and dunes of sand
Chasing hope and faith
Upon the ruin’s door he stood
Final destination came fast
It smelled of rotten wood
Laced with his pain and past
He have been here before
He couldn’t be wrong
It’s the same old door
The same old sad song
The true faces now could be seen
And he knows what comes after
His companions will come clean
And fill the void with laughter
A familiar voice inside
Yelled Welcome back sit and rest
Our good friend “false pride”
died when you left
Loneliness sat at his feet
Affliction stood delighted
He just smiled in defeat
Then said once again united
It’s true all roads lead to Rome
And this is my one true home
©FAT 2016
13 Friday Nov 2015
A dark lounge, sitting at the bar
In a well decorated nice venue
The Captain yelled from afar
“One minute Sir, I’ll bring the cocktails menu”
I laughed and said.
My drink is always strong, dark and neat
No sauce for me, mine is always pure
My drink is not, just a treat
My drink is simply,, a heavenly cure
My drink is a manly drink
And my drink is free of drugs
And I just don’t know what to think
When men ask, for blue bullfrogs
My drink will never unleash the beast
My drink is of peace and joy
Although in a Nordic feast
I’d be as bad as Viking boy
It’s never a reason for someone’s tears
It’s never someone else’s demons
It just serenades my ghosts and numbs my fears
And I believe those are enough good reasons
A sin that help my shoulders carries
These ghosts, these scars, this sin
Mankind cruelty, fears, and worries
Among the sins of peers, lovers, life and kin
A Temporary relief when the liquor sinks in
A sanctuary a refuge from what comes after
From these ghosts that dwell and lurk within
Their cries their tears their screams and laughter
It became the remedy
It was the only choice
A melody to cure my malady
Sang in a demon’s voice
Back to this eve
Last call, the bells are ringing
‘’we are not ready to leave’’
Is what my ghosts are singing
They normally follow with this verse
“Come on let’s play
We are a blessing not curse
And we are here to stay
We are bored of this keep
So let’s get going
Soon we’ll all need to sleep
And your princess is not coming
It’s not her shift
And here goes away the singers
Soon we’ll be the only ones left
Beside the memories that lingers
The bell have been rung
And the lights got stronger
Soon we’ll start to sing in tongue
If you keep us waiting longer
Alas, dear host we give up
All roads seem to lead to Rome
Our singing will stop
If you just take us home”
©FAT 2015
Alcoholism shouldn’t be glorified, if you think you suffer from alcohol abuse or alcoholism get help,,
29 Thursday Oct 2015
Tags
depression, exile, hope, life, Loneliness, love, poem, poetry, sanctuary
No soul shall carry the sin of another
Nor will I ever blame a brother-
For his brother’s deeds
And the one true mother
Is who raised, nursed, fed and bathed
And that’s not always whom carried the seeds
I think I have ran out of luck
Reality cruelly struck
And virtue is, a fool’s disease
To my word I’ve stuck
And became their mock
Now Here I am, on bended knees
For almost forty years
I could not shed my tears
Behind these smiles, I lived and hid
Now the end is nigh and near
And my utmost fear
Is those tears will burst before I am dead
Those pages I have not turned
Stained, reeked, scared and burned
As they marched through my soul
And the heart that have once yearned
Seems to have finally learned
That its past won’t stop until it conquers all
Can’t run away that far
Can’t leave behind no scar
They are all what I breathe and see
And as horrid as they are
They became my northern star
They became the essence that makes me
Banished good and evil souls
Built a few high walls
And thought I would win
But after forty falls
I heard a wise voice calls
The danger is not without, it lurks deep within
Even if now I want to try
These walls are just too high
I’ll just wait right here and except my fate
Every dawn before light engulfs the sky
To loneliness I’ll say “goodnight goodbye,
Till we meet tonight my dear soulmate”
No one’s fault that I bit life’s bait
Or that it’s now a bit too late
To hope, to love to try to live
Always thought that life would wait
But here I am,locked out behind the gate
With nothing to take, nothing to give
It took a little while
To get used to my exile
My sanctuary which now I call home
Loneliness is cold and vile
But the heart learns to smile
And to freely roam
Destiny one can’t surpass
And more scars will come to pass
That is my fate and my life design
Sigh, sigh and alas alas
Stranded but this too shall pass
I’ll live what could be lived and I won’t resign
They said life is a big school
And can teach the greatest fool
Without a fee for admission
And if you are not above the rule
The lessons are harsh and cruel
And it’ll always end by submission
©FAT 2015
23 Wednesday Sep 2015
Tags
depression, despair, destiny, dreaming, life, Loneliness, poem, poetry, sanctuary, thought of the day
I have accepted my destiny
Delegated my affairs to my creator
God was forever kind to me
And I pray he will be later
With an ancient sword and cane
I am seeing this journey through
What’s left can’t cause more pain
Than what I have seen and knew
These aging bones won’t give up
They plea for more in screams
This aching soul begs for the journey to stop
While it secretly dreams
I dream of a sanctuary
Made of wood or clay
With a lake that doesn’t freeze in January
A place where I can peacefully lay
Where my bo can thrust
Through the misty air
And the sword that I trust
Remains in pure despair
Where crawlers crawl
Free from tarmac and tire
And when the sun sinks and falls
I build a glorious fire
Where there is only paper and quill
Where there are no street lights
Where a fever can paralyze and kill
Where there are no fracking rights
Where banks can’t thrive
By exploiting student loans
Where you are not kept alive
To serve someone’s throne
Where poison doesn’t make half your meal
Where the air is pure
Where everything grown is real
And can be an illness cure
Half way through life’s funnel
With regrets but proud
Wasted a life time in this tunnel
Living among the crowd
No empathy is needed
No helping hand is desired
I’ve accepted I have conceded
The chances I had and now expired
Alas, turning back is fateful
The waves are high
And Moving forward is getting painful
But I’ll still try
More than half is gone
And I will serve the rest
Not caring if I‘d be all alone
Until my final rest
I have accepted my destiny
Delegated my affairs to my creator
God was forever kind to me
And I pray he will be later
©FAT 2015
28 Sunday Jun 2015
Tags
Dear eyes why can’t you weep
Dear eyes why can’t you cry
The tears have dug too deep
But The well is full not dry
Cast away these demons
That haunts my night
Pour out all the reasons
And make it right
Bless me with forgiveness
And make me forget
what we have suffered and witnessed
what we have faced and met
Dear crow the tears won’t show
Would you lend a hand?
Make them fall and flow
Right here where we stand
My liege my old friend
I can’t lift this curse
Tears won’t go with the wind
And their scars are worst
It’s a river that we can’t stop
and we’ll have to endeavor
It starts with a single drop
then it will rain forever
forgive me my liege
For I have failed
your wish is out of reach
your curse prevailed
Your tears will burn inside
and they’ll leave some scars
souvenirs that will reside
Of lost battles and wars
the scars will always grow
but we can’t Wear them in pride
Those who look closely will know
what we mask and hide
alas, You are free to leave
I’ll just gather my strength
Inside ill shall weep and grieve
for you and my tears, have failed me at length
And I know fate isn’t done with me yet
Fate has more games to play
and I know I can safely bet
That I’ll lose and pay
I wish they would tear me apart
Perhaps right then they’ll yield
when they find her carved in my heart
beneath the mask and shield
my liege if I may
An advice to give
No gain in pain I say
And she deserve to live
one day memories will be gone
And we will carry on
©FAT 2015
