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cross roads

I have been here before;
I know of fate and luck;
I know what’s in the store;
When one by love is struck;
I know of all the yearning-
The longing, the hopes and worries;
And I know of all the turnings;
That a love journey carries;
I know of all our plans;
Our dreams our fears and wishes;
I know our yings and yangs;
I know of our woes and blisses;
I know of “I do, I promise I swear”;
As I know of years in vain;
Regrets and nights in despair;
Memories I can’t explain;
I see the cliffs past yonder;
And I know where I must head;
I know roads I should not wander;
But my heart says it must tread;
©FAT 2020



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Youth has faded;
And time betrayed;
All the kisses we traded;
And all promises made;
I miss not the scent that linger;
Or her cheeks when she is exposed;
Or that smile so pure and tender;
When her eyes are gently closed;
Now the past ablaze;
The thread and spool;
Long gone those days;
The kind and cruel;
Alas, so long the games and so long the play;
Today I am neither a predator nor I am a prey.
©FAT 2020

The Unwilling Dreamer


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Take me beyond my doubts;
And beyond my imagination;
Be my wings and stouts;
And tear down my self-preservation;
Confront my fears;
And defy my laws;
Undo past tears;
And accept my flaws;
Unveil your heart;
And bare your soul;
I will do my part;
I will give my all;
Or for your sake and mine remain a dream;
That passes by as stars through a moonlit stream.
©FAT 2019

Birthday Blues II


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I am mature and ripe in every way;
I have soared so high and paid my dues;
And wisdom laced my beard with grey;
Yet somehow I am struck by birthday blues;
Unsanctioned like, a maiden’s blush;
Unfathomable like the runes of Berbers;
Or Like the fact I am too old to crush;
But here I am and Katja Herbers;
Thank you dear unwanted guest;
And my everlasting curse:
Last year you didn’t best;
Nor did you worse;
I understand you not, but at least you’re here;
So, Farewell good bye until next year.
©FAT 2019



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Your love was my savior;
And your gift is my chain;
But such is life’s behavior;
The cycle of famine and rain;
Or this cloud that fogs;
My lonely thirsty dunes;
Raining ink and frogs;
Wretched chants and runes;
Visions I should have trusted;
I should have shown content;
But I dreamt I lusted;
And I did consent;
Now I am halfway between regret and sorrow;
Juggling nights and days till the awaited morrow.
©FAT 2019

The Tunnel


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When will it end?
When is the last chapter written?
When will both knees I bend?
When will I lose what’s given
When would the voices stop?
When would these visions cease
When will the morning drop?
When will the nightmares ease?
When will all monsters sleep?
When will wise words I’ll heed?
When will good deeds I reap?
When will this soul is freed?
Regardless how, or when and where
I know one day, that I will be there.

©FAT 2019



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desert road

On a dark desert road;
With what’s left of my baggage;
Memories and scars abroad;
Astray, leading this carriage;
All charts I have shredded;
To unchain my soul;
I care not where am headed;
The passage is my goal;
Happy havens are fiction;
And all smiles are forged;
When one of affliction;
Can’t be cleansed and purged;
Between destinations stay, don’t you speed;
For between lashes lay happiness indeed.
©FAT 2018

The tale of my three witches


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A tale to be told;
Of the three witches of mine;
Of a time so cold;
And mine forsaken shrine;

The first took a virgin heart;
And spoke of a future heaven;
Where true life will truly start;
And where all dreams are given;

But by heaven’s door;
These words were spoken;
“Promises I made before-
Are at this moment broken”;

But fear not my dear;
This promise I’ll keep forever;
One day this storm will clear;
And we will be together;

One day we will be one;
And I pray that you will wait;
As soon as my chores are done;
We will fulfil our fate;

Then Seasons passed;
Of drought and flood;
Lilies or roses massed;
For joy or blood;

Till, one day she came;
As she once did before;
And as she spoke my name;
I said “please no more;

Naive I am not, I was;
And yes, Forgiveness I can give;
But I shan’t, just because;
You should have had let me live”

Then more Seasons passed;
On my two knees kneeling;
And from the Lord I asked;
For only peace and healing;

Then came a heavenly dove;
Angelic, soft and tender;
She said “I am, your one true love-
I am your hardship-mender”;

“My walls are high you’ll fail;
And they are like a regiment lined;
I am sure none you can scale;
I am sure none you can grind”

She said time will tell;
And I have no doubt;
I’ll camp here until;
That day you come out;

With time by day I peak;
To see what joy she is bringing;
And when my day grows weak;
I hide, and seek her singing;

Then came a stormy night;
And her voice I could not hear;
Have she left or perhaps she might;
Have been struck by fear;

To see if she had left;
These walls I’ve swiftly conquered;
But upon the last wall that’s left;
My will just withered and faltered;

Against the wall I sadly leaned;
As if I had lost a treasure?
Or have I been blessed and weaned;
Off this senseless pleasure;

Here comes next morn;
And here comes my penance;
How morn could be born;
If not in her presence;

I left my fort behind;
Then sat in my empty field;
Screamed that I have been blind;
Please come back I yield;

The night has finally fallen;
And here comes her voice;
From a distance calling;
“Are you out by choice?”

“Yes indeed I am;
Without you my days are grim;
My heart is an opened clam;
So by thine love please do brim”;

She said “my love you’re-
My love, you’re my heart and soul;
Our love is our only cure;
Our love will make us whole;

At night we shall live;
For my days are by duties chained;
I’ll give as much as I can give;
As I won’t let my vows be stained;

Live by day as will;
Wear smiles and say you’re fine;
Have fun but please don’t tell;
That your sweet heart is mine;

Years of joy went fast;
But then, for daylight I yearned;
Happier I can be at last;
And happiness I have earned;

But I got one reply;
“There is too much at stake;
I can’t and that’s no lie;
But this risk I can’t take;

My kids will be stunned;
And divorce is plain taboo;
Off my finance I will be shunned;
And one day you will hate me too;

I know this is unjust;
And my heart is sore;
I am sorry and please do trust;
I’ll waste your time no more”;

Scarce Words became;
To a tongue that strives;
To say forget my name;
And go play your lives;

Go honor your chains;
And in your duties bask;
Enjoy your chosen gains;
Whilst you wear your mask;

Rotten was her truth;
But worse, is your crime;
She stole my lustful youth;
But you stole my prime;

Our path has parted;
With those unspoken words;
She went where she charted;
And I, to my lonesome wards;

More seasons on seasons spun;
And so did my grief and laughter;
Came new thoughts and quickly gone;
Except for what will come after;

Then came this queen;
With a heart as white;
As moonlight beam is seen;
In the darkest night;

She got my old feelings stirred;
She quelled this lasting thirst;
And although she is my third;
She is somehow my first;

Happy with what we chanced;
We loved, we cared and shared;
We kissed we sang we danced;
But off this tale you’re spared;

At one’s conscious gnaws;
Secrets kept untold;
Destined by nature laws;
With time they will unfold;

Why can’t people see?
Cloaks are not worth it sighs;
For when the truth is free;
All else are only lies;

My past, they have consumed;
But they’ve left my unborn days;
But you deemed my future doomed;
With your lies, and evil ways;

They may have been depraved;
But both I didn’t hate or loath;
It’s my fault, I loved I craved;
And in truth, you’ve sainted both.

That was mine, and my three witches’ tale;
A tale of time ill-spent in vain;
A tale of how one’s reason fail;
A tale of love, torment and pain….
©FAT 2018